Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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