You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
