i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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