Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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