Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
