he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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