At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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