All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
