it was like fucking gandolphs beard
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
