No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
