She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
