well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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