talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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