I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
