You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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