Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
