That's intense
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
