Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
