I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
