The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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