you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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