HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
