I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
