yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
