whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
