I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
