The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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