R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
