That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We talked him into tasing himself.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
