That's intense
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
