He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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