ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
