my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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