It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
