I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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