so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
