I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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