I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
