he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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