The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
