you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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