I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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