You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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