Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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