There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
