And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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