Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
