I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You ate ashes out of my bong
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
