I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
