i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Are my feet made of real feet?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
