you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
