Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
