im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
