Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
