I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think I died a long time ago.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
